Friday, September 30, 2011

Quitting Facebook

I am an addict.  A facebook addict.  It's bad.  It's the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I check at night.  I check it at every red light on my phone.  I go throughout my day looking for the next hilarious status update, thinking about what comments I may get.  It consumes me.


I QUIT!!!!!


I decided yesterday, Thursday, September 29th (because I know I'll forget when later down the road), that I am going to reclaim my time, my thoughts, my life.

I'm not saying Facebook is a bad thing.  It is a wonderful tool and outlet for MANY reasons.  What I personally lack is the concept of self-moderation.  I am quite ADD, and I tend to hyperfocus (and not on things like cleaning or dishes or laundry that would be more productive).  I do love Facebook.  I love all the friends I have reconnected with.  I love how easy it is to communicate to many friends at once.  I love to see what my friends are up to.  I love the validation that comes from every "like" and every comment.  I love the indirectness of the communication (have I told you how I DESPISE confrontation?)  I love that the majority of my friends and family are all in one place.  But this love has turned to obsession.  And it's not a recent turn....I'm sure it started about 2 days after being on Facebook a few years ago.

So TODAY I am officially FACEBOOK FREE!!!!!!  (At this point, I'm somewhat feigning excitement).  It was nerve-racking and liberating all at the same time as I hit the deactivate button last night.

When I woke up this morning and grabbed by phone, there was no Facebook app to click on and check. :(  I couldn't see what my friends had done while I was sleeping....GASP!!!  And you know what, I am still alive.  I actually had more time to spend with my kids this morning before they went to school.  It was great!

As I have been going throughout my morning, I keep having status updates, or should I say potential status updates popping up all around me.  What is it about putting a thought out there into cyberspace that I crave?  I even had the brief, but thankfully fleeting thought that I should get a twitter account for that purpose.  Really Nicole????  But I tossed that idea and went right along.

I know this is going to be a struggle for me.  I know at some point I will probably be in tears over it.  I know that I will miss out on things.  I know I will not know as much about my friends' daily lives as I did before.  I know that I will probably have to actually CALL someone instead of just Facebooking them....and I HATE HATE HATE making phone calls.  So yeah, I know this is going to be hard....

But I am strong and I can do hard things!

(insert "that's what she said".....heheheheheheee!!!)

So I know what I'm giving up, but what will I get in return?  What will be the benefits?  I hope to have more focused time with my kids.  I hope to find some peace in myself.  I hope that my house might look less like a tornado has just gone through it.  I hope that I will build stronger friendships.  I hope I will find some happiness.

For now, I will probably use this blog to chronicle my journey.  (Again, that need to "put it out there" that I seem to have rears its ugly head).  I also hope to see my progress and maybe help someone out there who may be struggling with similar problems.  So let's do this!!!!!