Friday, September 30, 2011

Quitting Facebook

I am an addict.  A facebook addict.  It's bad.  It's the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I check at night.  I check it at every red light on my phone.  I go throughout my day looking for the next hilarious status update, thinking about what comments I may get.  It consumes me.


I QUIT!!!!!


I decided yesterday, Thursday, September 29th (because I know I'll forget when later down the road), that I am going to reclaim my time, my thoughts, my life.

I'm not saying Facebook is a bad thing.  It is a wonderful tool and outlet for MANY reasons.  What I personally lack is the concept of self-moderation.  I am quite ADD, and I tend to hyperfocus (and not on things like cleaning or dishes or laundry that would be more productive).  I do love Facebook.  I love all the friends I have reconnected with.  I love how easy it is to communicate to many friends at once.  I love to see what my friends are up to.  I love the validation that comes from every "like" and every comment.  I love the indirectness of the communication (have I told you how I DESPISE confrontation?)  I love that the majority of my friends and family are all in one place.  But this love has turned to obsession.  And it's not a recent turn....I'm sure it started about 2 days after being on Facebook a few years ago.

So TODAY I am officially FACEBOOK FREE!!!!!!  (At this point, I'm somewhat feigning excitement).  It was nerve-racking and liberating all at the same time as I hit the deactivate button last night.

When I woke up this morning and grabbed by phone, there was no Facebook app to click on and check. :(  I couldn't see what my friends had done while I was sleeping....GASP!!!  And you know what, I am still alive.  I actually had more time to spend with my kids this morning before they went to school.  It was great!

As I have been going throughout my morning, I keep having status updates, or should I say potential status updates popping up all around me.  What is it about putting a thought out there into cyberspace that I crave?  I even had the brief, but thankfully fleeting thought that I should get a twitter account for that purpose.  Really Nicole????  But I tossed that idea and went right along.

I know this is going to be a struggle for me.  I know at some point I will probably be in tears over it.  I know that I will miss out on things.  I know I will not know as much about my friends' daily lives as I did before.  I know that I will probably have to actually CALL someone instead of just Facebooking them....and I HATE HATE HATE making phone calls.  So yeah, I know this is going to be hard....

But I am strong and I can do hard things!

(insert "that's what she said".....heheheheheheee!!!)

So I know what I'm giving up, but what will I get in return?  What will be the benefits?  I hope to have more focused time with my kids.  I hope to find some peace in myself.  I hope that my house might look less like a tornado has just gone through it.  I hope that I will build stronger friendships.  I hope I will find some happiness.

For now, I will probably use this blog to chronicle my journey.  (Again, that need to "put it out there" that I seem to have rears its ugly head).  I also hope to see my progress and maybe help someone out there who may be struggling with similar problems.  So let's do this!!!!!


Page said...

Hey Nicole! Good job choosing to take back your time. I definitely struggle with this. I try to limit time on my phone: fb, blogs, games, etc. Some days I succeed and other days I fail miserably. It's always something I battle with. I'm excited to see you go through this journey. Maybe it will inspire me to set stronger limits on my phone time. Thanks for sharing.

Nicole said...

thanks for the encouragement page! :) being a grown up is tough stuff! ;)

Debbie said...

You go girl!! I got onto Facebook because of you and with you not on it, I sure won't have too many reasons to log in so you'll be helping me too!!'re helping someone already!!
Love you sweetie!!

Lara said...

W.O.W.! That is awesome, Nicole! What will you do with all that time??

Suzanne said...

You are strong and you can do hard things. You are going to be so happy with life on the other side of Facebook-i just know it! I love you and love that you are making such hard and huge changes. Huge blessings are ahead. Love you.

Rush~ said...

whew, you made me feel better about my phone phobia. okay, you didn't actually say you had a phone phobia but i think i might. i really hate hate hate making phone calls, too. i even warn people on my greeting to be fair "it's unlikely i will call you back but leave a message and i'll probably text you". :) sad, but true.

i'm really proud of you btw. hang in there!

Nicole said...

I am a total phone-a-phobe rushia! Hate it! Text me baby!